The Time is Now
A Lesson Learned From A House Fire
Hello, Explorers!
We all have those special items in our homes that we save for a special occasion. Everything from jewelry to bottles of wine, from fine china to special occasion garments. All of us have things that we cherish and want to save for future special occasions. More often than not, that moment we wait for doesn’t usually show up and meet our standards. So we wait for another, and another, until the day comes when we have that precious possession taken away from us unexpectedly. This thought can also be about people and our relationships. What if what is precious to us is suddenly gone? Suddenly, the time becomes now.
(P.C. @shutterbuglizzy)
Devastation
During the early summer of 2018, we experienced a house fire. It was the most terrible event I have ever witnessed in my life. I remember the feeling of going into our micro-home and looking around at our scorched ceilings and walls. For the most part, a lot of our belongings were still seemingly intact. However, something we couldn’t necessarily see is how severely the smoke infiltrated all textiles, food items, and our special keepsakes.
The fire relief company that we worked with had to process all of our belongings, attempt to salvage what they could, and throw out the items that were deemed unsafe for our health. Because of all the severe smoke damage, many of our special keepsakes were discarded and never to be seen again. This is when the realization hit me. I never got to utilize what I had cherished the most.
There were some physical items that I kept for special occasions or when the time was right. Special ingredients for cooking, keepsakes meant to be given to someone at a certain time, journaling accessories for me to use on special letters, and many more. Some people have fine china, aged bottles of wine, family heirlooms, elegant jewelry, expensive watches, or unused items that are just collecting dust. Think about what your precious possessions are that you value highly. Now, think about losing them suddenly. To go even deeper, what if you lost someone suddenly? What would you do differently today?
Realization
Through the course of many months full of healing, I pondered over life and the moments that are considered specials by us since we all have different sorts of standards. However, no matter how hard we try and save something for a special occasion, many unforeseen factors come into play. Many unexpected curve balls that life can throw at us.
There are two trains of thought that have entered my mind more frequently ever since the incident happened: One is directed at valuable, precious belongings. While the other is directed at valuable, precious relationships.
(P.C. @shutterbuglizzy)
As much as I want to save some things for the future, I don’t know if that could happen for my expected timeline. So these are some questions I like to ask myself:
What are my most cherished possessions?
If it is something edible, can I enjoy it with others at my next gathering?
Can I enjoy it today?
If it is something delicate, can I use it and enjoy wearing it now?
Can I gift it to someone the very next time I see them?
If it is something meant for me, can I indulge in it today?
The other train of thought is geared towards relationships.
Reflection
Since I am bi-racial, of Latin and Asian heritage, my view on life extends from a wide range of how these cultures view our time here on earth, and how we should spend it. Being Latin, something that has always run through my mind, at least once every day, has been my mortality. Just to clarify, I am not a person that struggles from depression. I simply like to think about what my timeline is and all that I want to accomplish within that time. I think about what if tomorrow were my last day here:
How can I love people more?
How can I show people that I care about them more?
How can I be a better person today?
What thoughts do I want to think about?
What type of emotions do I want to feel?
Although many people don’t usually think in this manner. I would recommend it as an exercise. It will help you realize that our days are full of choices. Choices that each of us makes. We have more control over our thoughts, emotions, and actions than you can imagine. Whenever I am short-tempered, angry, and impatient at someone, I take a step back to calm myself down. During this quiet time, I try to control my breathing so that it becomes deep and consistent. Meanwhile, the thoughts that run through my head are the ones I wrote previously. I also ask myself:
Why am I angry/sad/impatient/anxious?
Is it something petty? (Most things that we get angry at usually are)
Do I want to be thinking about these negative thoughts about this person that I love?
Do I want to be saying these harsh and harmful words to this person I love?
How can I apologize while expressing my feelings clearly and concisely?
If not now, then when?
There is no day like today.
While waiting for my flight one day, I sat next to this well-dressed man that was heading off on a business trip. He had a beautiful Rolex watch on. It had two minor scratches that you would never really notice unless you look extremely closely. Nevertheless, it was kept in pristine condition. Being a watch aficionado, I couldn’t help but compliment him on his excellent choice. He smiled and said thank you, to which he added, “if you think this one is nice, wait till you see the one I don’t wear”. I laughed and asked him why he doesn't wear it. “I’m saving it for a special occasion”, he said. “When is that?”, I asked. That is when he paused, looked up as he thought of an answer but couldn't come up with anything. He told me that he had bought the unused Rolex 15 years ago, and hasn’t brought it out of its packaging. I then went on to tell him about losing some of my precious possessions, how that hurt my heart, wishing that I could have just used them, instead of holding onto them. An announcement was made for his flight, and right before he got up to take-off he had a very pensive look in his eyes and said, “I guess, there is no day like today. Thank you for changing my perspective. I’ll be sure to wear it and enjoy wearing it while I still can.”
Precious possessions are like precious people. We must learn to appreciate them and show them we care while they are still in our lives. The moment they are gone is the moment we realize it is too late. What could we have done differently? What could we have said? How could we have acted? How could I have treated them? How could I have enjoyed their presence? There is no day like today. The time is now.
Goodbye, Explorers!
Pear Life Content:
-Read my post, How To Practice Self-Care, discovering the importance of taking care of yourself from the inside-out; For tips on how to start your self-care journey.
Resources:
-Click here for a FREE Pear Life printable template to organize your day and manage your priorities.
-Pictures provided by Shutterbuglizzy.